Why Do They Do It

I have been wondering why it is that Thai ladies are so keen on meeting western men or farangs. After spending some time here and having many conversations with people there are several reasons. Of course, there is the money, all Thais think that westerners are rich and can cough up huge sums of money to help improve theirs and their families lives. Plenty of farangs have done just that and created the thinking that foreigners represent gravy trains. These farangs have not helped ordinary foreign men who are over here just living on their pensions and so do not have cash to throw around. There are many stories about Thai women fleecing foreign men which I will leave for another occasion. There are of course, conversely many good Thai ladies who accept a degree of financial stability as only part of a relationship and is not the only consideration. It is fair to add that even a man who is just living on a pension is much better off than the majority of Thais.

Apart from money, Thai women see farangs as sensible, stable, responsible, committed and good family men. This is opposed to Thai men who drink very heavily, smoke, womanise and it is reckoned over 60% visit prostitutes on a regular occasion. They are not good with the family, are very selfish and will use all the household income for their lifestyle. I met a Thai lady of 35 who has a 7 year old daughter and her husband had just died at the age of 47 from cirrhosis of the liver. She worked as a cashier, he didn't work but took all her money for booze. This is, of course, a sweeping generalisation of how Thai men behave but it does go some way to understanding why the women are keen on farangs. All the adverts you see for women looking for western men talk about wanting a man with a good heart. Thai man are inadequate in this department.

Also, Thai women are not concerned with age or looks, whether that man is western or Thai as they figure that young men are likely to stray, be selfish, too egoistical and self important. This is so totally different to the west and leads to lots of older western men seeking and able to find Thai women partners who are a lot younger.

It is not all doom and gloom though because there are many cases of foreigners and Thais having good long term relationships and bringing up families. The main criteria seems to be compromise. Both parties have to accept they come from different cultural upbringings, recognise those differences and find some happy middle ground that they can work from. Both parties have to accept that often they want different things from the relationship. The men want a nice young lady to cuddle up to and the woman is looking for security and stability. Recognise that and it will be a good start.

At the end of the day I believe that most marriages and partnerships are like a business contract. They are entered into with the 2 people wanting something from it. Often it will be the same things but often it will be different things but as long as the 2 people are getting those things there should be harmony. Here in Thailand the contract is more open - see previous paragraph.

Please feel free to comment, agree, disagree or whatever. This opinion is only mine and based on many conversations and observations.